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Msn Shit
JOKES


Your mama is so fat, when she sings, its over

Recommended for you: "Windows For Dummies"

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode

CATS HAVE NINE LIVES PEOPLE HAVE 1 MESS WITH (YOUR
NAME) AND U'LL HAVE NONE!!!

Just because you're stupid doesn't mean I'm lying

Excuse me, but I think my karma just ran over your dogma

You smell like the splashboard of an Indian urinal during mango season

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception

Welcome to loserville. Population: you

It's people like you who give scum a bad name

I've had fun before. This isn't it

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend/girlfriend thinks so

I dream about a monster, about you!

Your village called, their idiot is missing

Girls/Guys are like lava lamps: good to look at, but not very bright

I'd smack you but shit splatters!

It's not that I am anti-social. I just don't like you

Harrasing me about my smoking may be hazardous to your health!

You're the cum your mother should have swallowed

If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?

Now I understand why some animals eat their young!

I have PMS and a gun... now what were you saying?

I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can diet

Your so ugly they put your picture on the airline sick bag

Please buy parfume! I can smell you through my speakers!

Screw Fear. Drink Beer

Roses are red, violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the ZOO!

What are you looking at?

Get stoned, drink cement

When being ugly would make money, you would be Bill Gates!

Don't be sad, don't be blue. I want a girl/boy, but not you!

Fighting for peace is like having sex for virginity
Of course you have

My neighbour is so ugly I broke in his/her house to close the curtains!

Men are like postmen, they leave after they put it in

Don't like my msn name? Look away than!

Don't be so loud, I can hear you from here!

You think I'm a bitch? You should meet my mother!

Don't even try to click my username

Want to destroy your enemy? Make him a friend

Your breath stinks like the ass of a bear


If Italians taste as good as their icecream, i want two!

If I didn't have you, you didn't have me

Badgirl/Badboy with good intentions
If I ain't g0t j0ee babY!

Some people are so afraid to die that they never begin to live

You are a star, fall for me!

Hopelessly devoted to you!

Hey I'm not the bitch/ahole, I am THE bitch/ahole!

Sparkle your MSN, add me!

Boys are smart, boys are brave. Girls are smarter and
behave!

Gils are pretty, girls are smart. Boys are smarter and got a big heart!

You are a walking fishbowl, I see right through you

You can always call me (70 cents p/m)

Is a full harddisk lighter than an empty one?

How pretty I am? Pretty cool!

How to keep an idiot busy for about 5 seconds? Well, like this!

Homework? Do I pay school money to work at home!?

I'm blonde, but I ain't stupid

How do you call the end of a shoe-lace? Exactly!

How to get an dino from the water? Wet!


Intelligence could be instinct which has it at the wrong end

When life hands you a lemon, break out the tequila and the salt!

What is arrogance? Thinking you can compete with me!

I’ve lost my phone number, can I have yours?

Not me, not now, maybe later...

Life's a beach... Surf it up!

Trying is the first step towards failure

I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot

If it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but milk do?

Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you stand
alone

I'm more drunk than a three-legged chicken on a wet patch of ice!

When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better

To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all life's problems

WaNnA PLaY ArMy?? ... Ok! SiT BaCk AnD i'LL BLoW ThE
HeLL OuT oF YoU!

I avoid temptation unless I can't resist it

I love work; it fascinates me; I can sit and watch it for hours

Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you to forget the question

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

There are no stupid questions, just stupid peop


Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?

When cows laugh, does milk come out of their nose?
Gravity always wins

The easiest way to avoid a hangover is to just stay drunk

There are some that are wise and others that are otherwise

I'm not an alcoholic. I am a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings

Buy land, they have quit making it!

Don't judge a man by his boxers, it's what's inside that counts

I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it

Eat healthy, exercise more, still die

Politicians prefer unarmed peasants

Time is what keeps things from happening all at once

Women/Men who seek to be equal with men/women lack ambition

What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?

Smile, it makes people wonder what you're up too..

Opinions are like assholes... Everyone's got one, and they stink

Sometimes I wish I were you, just so I could be friends with me

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most

If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws

I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun


People who make hand-kisses are freaking lazy!

On your knees! I am online
(name) connecting people...

Wait a minute... I am bringing an offer to the toilet gods

What does really suck? A giraffe with pain in his neck

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

Hi! My name's Nobody. Nobody is perfect.

La La Li La - Can't hear you - La Li La La

You don't have to be the best, be better than the rest!

I can do it, I can let it be but I get it done!

It's brown and it doesn't weight much... lightbrown!

Did you just grab my ass?

Select my name and press ALT + F4

Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?

This guy/girl needs a tutorial

A selfish person is someone who doesn't think about me

Does people working at Pickwick ever get a coffeebreak?

Who farted!?

Here I am! What were your other 2 wishes?

It's green and it's peaks behind a corner... a spionach!

Nobody like me, so I always have 1 friend

Girls/Boys are great, every boy/girl should own one

You know it's always business doing pleasure with you

If you throw rice at weddings, will asian people throw hotdogs?

I’ve lost my phone number, can I have yours?

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

When I’m good, I’m really good, but when I’m bad I’m better

I'm not smiling at you, I'm trying not to laugh!

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence? I think not…

I'm fat, but your ugly. I can diet

English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England!

You may laugh because I'm different but I laugh because you're all the same

If at first you dont succeed skydiving isnt for you

Take a break like it is a sort of screen saver!

I am on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!

ScReW TwiZzLeRS!! i'LL MaKe YoUr MoUtH HaPPy!

I aint guilty, im just not innocent! ;-)

Can I get your picture? I collect nature disasters

For all you who talk about me, thanks for making ME the
center of YOUR world!

I'm cool, I'm hot....I'm everything you're not